Did you know there are three types of people

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

-“you are too young to smoke”

A man was found dead in his study. He was slumped over his desk and a gun was in his hand. There was a cassette recorder on his desk. When the police entered the room and pressed the play button on the tape recorder they heard: "I can't go on. I have nothing to live for." Then there was the sound of a gunshot. How did the detective immediately know that the man had been murdered and it wasn't a suicide?

- The cassette had started at the beginning of the man's utterance. Someone else had to be there to rewind the tape.

Where do frogs sit?

-on toadstools

Where can you always find money?

-in the dictionary

What is put on a table, cut, but never eaten?

-a deck of cards

What did the instructor at the school for Kamikaze pilots say to his students?

-“watch closely, I’m only going to do this once.”

What goes around a yard, but doesn’t move?

-a fence

This is as light as a feather, yet no man can hold it for long. What is it?

-your breath

Two dogs are sitting on a porch - a fat dog and a thin dog. The little dog is the son of the fat dog, but the fat dog is not the father of the thin dog. Can you explain?

-the fat dog is his mother.

What does no man want, yet no man want to lose?

-his job

Why is tennis such a romantic sport?

-because every match starts with love.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith have six daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many people are there in the family?

-9 family members total - 6 daughters, 1 brother, Mr. Smith and Mrs. Smith

There was an airplane crash, every single person died, but two people survived. How is this possible?

-they were married

Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

-yesterday, today, and tomorrow